Be Honest With Me

I’m a comic book fan, and I often wonder why the superheroes in comic book stories are so memorable and inspiring. I’ve come to see that what makes superheroes powerful is not that they have superpowers, but that they are human. They understand their weaknesses. In all stories, the achilles heel of our heroes is what creates tension and drama. It’s what makes the story suspenseful and engaging. We remember these heroes’ stories because they navigate a world in which they are imperfect, they have limits, they make mistakes, they are flawed. Superheroes face their demons in spite of their shortcomings, and that’s why they inspire hope. Their honesty is what makes them more than mere mortals.

Lately, it feels that the world is losing honesty as a valued trait, and I’m worried that dishonesty and pretense are becoming the norm. I truly believe that honesty is one of the most important qualities we can develop in ourselves. Our self-esteem and our relationships are at stake if we can’t be honest with ourselves. We can never be heroes if we can’t take responsibility for ourselves.

We all go through physical puberty. What we don’t often talk about is that we also go through emotional puberty. Emotional puberty happens when we realize that we are imperfect, mortal beings. Some people experience this when they are young and others when they are older. Some may never go through it. Reaching emotional maturity is not simply about developing confidence in every part of ourselves, but accepting what we aren’t confident about and can’t change. When we can’t accept our shortcomings, when we can’t confront our own failures and limitations head on, we resort to explaining them away in dishonest ways. Insecurities are the root cause of dishonesty.

Dishonest people sometimes have a poor inner sense of right and wrong. They take advantage of the people around them to get what they want. It’s very unfortunate that dishonest people can be hard to detect. They can seem intelligent, charming, and even empathetic. Maybe they have the perfect outfit and hair and a vibrant network of friends. They exude success and charisma. They rely on appearances to get through life. They are merely actors, and if you aren’t careful their quick wits and good looks can quickly turn into a kind of manipulation.

Of course, we all have insecurities and none of us are perfect. We all have, at some point in our lives, told a lie to get ahead. But I believe with all my heart that we can change for the better. We can become more honest if we start to accept our flaws and imperfections. Accepting our flaws requires that we look at ourselves in the mirror and ask ourselves to think about our values and motivations and beliefs. The road to an honest life requires that we develop consciousness.

Consciousness is the greatest gift we can ever give ourselves. When we are aware of ourselves, we knock down the walls that separate us from other people. Being vulnerable is a scary thing, but when we open up our world through honesty we find that our self esteem grows, our careers take off and our relationships improve.

Dishonesty can lead to disaster. How many of your relationships failed because you weren’t honest? When I look back at my failed relationships, I now see that a lack of honest communication, not falling out of love or disrespect, was the silent killer. When you aren’t honest with other people, it’s impossible to become intimate with them. Being honest may not always make you friends, but I guarantee you, it will always make you the right ones.

At hello, honesty is at the core of our values. We created hello because we wanted to build a more open and inviting community where anyone can express who they are and what they love freely. Through sharing important moments, chatting about hobbies and divulging secrets, we want to help people make more genuine and honest connections, online and off, with communities of other like-minded people. We believe that if we give people the chance to be their honest unfiltered selves online, we will build a more compassionate world.

My challenge for all of us is to try to be a little bit more honest — more honest with ourselves, with our peers, our neighbors, coworkers and friends In the end, we are the only ones who can change our lives for the better. We are the only ones who can account for our words and actions.

So what are you waiting for? Join us! Come see what an honest and loving and genuine community feels like. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Stay beautiful,
-Orkut